A Pro-Vaxxer and an Anti-Vaxxer Get Together for a Playdate… You’ll Never Believe What Happens Next

Today my friend Melissa (who owns qdSpray) came over for a play date. One of us vaccinates her kids, the other does not. So you’re not gonna believe how insane this play date turned out.

First of all, there were choo choos. That was really important. Lots and lots of choo choos.

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Yes, there was some hitting, but that’s to be expected when two three-year-olds, a two-year-old, and a one-year-old co-mingle. Mostly we were all smiles.

Just havin fun with our qdfriends!! #EndtheMommyWars

A photo posted by Courtney (@diaperwrecker) on

Then we ate a two-course meal of chicken nuggets and mac-and-cheese.

Finally, there was coloring. I think the baby may have tasted some crayons – big shocker there.

#endthemommywars

What? You were expecting drama?

Sorry, none of that here.

#EndtheMommyWars

How to Prepare for a Great C-Section

I never considered the possibility that I would have a c-section. My first son was born at home without complications, and my husband and I were planning another home birth for our second child. My second pregnancy was just as easy and enjoyable as my first (yay for no morning sickness!), and at my 35-week appointment, the baby was in a good position with his head down.

Much to our surprise, at 37 weeks, we discovered that our baby had moved into the transverse (sideways) position. Suddenly I was faced with the possibility that he might have to be born via c-section, and I was absolutely terrified. I cried. Over the next two weeks, I tried everything to get the baby to move – handstands in the pool, chiropractic care, funny positions on the couch, and finally, an external cephalic version in the hospital. Nothing made him budge.

At 39 weeks with a still-transverse baby, I had to accept the fact that a c-section was going to be the only safe option for delivery. I cried about it some more, but then resolved to be mentally prepared for the experience so that I could be relaxed and happy on my baby’s birthday. However, most of the resources I found online about c-sections were covered with admonitions about how to avoid them and reminders that it is MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY that shouldn’t be taken lightly. (Seriously, why does everyone have to say that phrase over and over in all caps? I get it already!)

So there I was, nervously facing a scheduled c-section, having tried everything I could to avoid it. I didn’t want to be a panicked mess on the day of my baby’s birth. I spent the next week working to find a sense of peace, and in the end, I had a beautiful c-section experience. If you’re in the same situation as I was, I hope these suggestions will help you to have a joyful birth experience as well!

How to Prepare for a C-Section

Word Play

I only had a week to get used to the fact that my baby was going to be born via c-section. Every time I thought about it, I was overwhelmed by scary images of being sliced open on a cold operating table and being left with a Frankenstein-like scar afterward.

Then I remembered a little word trick that some natural-birth advocates use. If you’ve read many natural birth books, you’ll notice that lots of them don’t use the word contraction – they say things like surge or wave. Why? I think it’s because contraction has become too synonymous with pain, so for many women, it automatically invokes a sense of fear. Use a different word, and you don’t think about the pain aspect so much.

Therefore, I made a conscious effort not to use the words c-section, operation, or surgery. It was simply birth. This took my mind off my fears and reminded me of the joyous event that was going to take place.

Visualization

I checked into the hospital about 10 days before my due date to try an external cephalic version, a procedure where the doctor tries to turn the baby into the right position with his hands on your belly. Unfortunately, it didn’t work for us. I had to stay for an hour after the procedure so that they could monitor the baby, so I took the opportunity to talk to the nurses about what to expect on the day I checked in for the birth. Although it made me nervous to talk about it, I knew I needed a play-by-play of what was going to happen.

I also watched some YouTube videos of c-sections from the perspective of the parents. It was such a relief to see those moms smiling and talking through the procedure. It wasn’t torture at all! (Warning: There are a lot of YouTube videos out there with graphic footage of what’s happening on the sterile side of the curtain. I steered clear of those – that was more detail than I wanted or needed!)

Finally, I asked a few close friends about their c-section experiences and recommendations. Not only did I get some great practical advice, but it helped remind me that these friends are happy, healthy, active women who recovered just fine – and so would I.

Each night before bed, I would close my eyes and visualize our arrival at the hospital, getting an IV, getting in a wheelchair and being rolled to the operating room, receiving the anesthesia, having my husband sitting by my head, and finally, seeing our baby for the first time! The first time I went through the visualization process it made me extremely nervous (yes, I think I cried). But after a week of doing it, I felt a lot more confident!

Music

While I was in labor for my home birth two years ago, we played gentle music and kept the lights low to create a relaxing atmosphere. Unfortunately, you can’t really control the ambiance in the OR – the lights will be very bright and the doctors and nurses in the room will probably be chatting away about what they did over the weekend. (Actually, the chatting was kind of comforting – it reminded me that they knew what they were doing and it wasn’t a tense life-or-death situation!) However, I really wanted to have my own music with me, especially for the 10 or 15 minutes between the start of the surgery and the time when we got to see our baby!

I made a playlist on my iPhone and asked my husband to lay it down next to my head. Once our son was born, my husband walked to the other side of the room to take pictures while the nurses cleaned him up. For those few minutes while I was alone and still being stitched up, I had my music to keep me happy and relaxed. I think I even might have been singing along to it out loud – I was just so filled with happiness that I couldn’t help myself!

Affirmations

For those who aren’t familiar with the concept of “birth affirmations”, they’re just short, positive statements that you can repeat before and during labor. Typical natural-birth affirmations might read:

  • My body knows how to give birth.
  • My baby will be born easily.
  • Each contraction/surge brings my baby closer to being in my arms.

I’ll admit, when I first read about birth affirmations I thought they sounded stupid. I rolled my eyes and swore I would never do something that lame.

Lo and behold, though, when I was in a particularly intense part of my home birth labor, I grabbed my copy of Birthing From Within in desperation and started spouting off affirmations like crazy. And it helped! I was in labor land and my brain wasn’t working the way it normally does. I didn’t need a lot of logic, I just needed the repetition of those easy, positive statements – it really gave me an enormous boost of confidence and energy.

Therefore, in preparing for my c-section experience, I thought that affirmations might help to clear away any last-minute nervousness. My list of c-section birth affirmations was a little different, but included things like:

  • God wants us to rejoice at the miracle of birth – no matter how it happens. 
  • God designed my body heal quickly and easily.
  • I am thankful that my baby can be born safely this way.
  • I will feel no pain; only joy at the birth of my son.
  • I trust my doctor, the anesthesiologist, and the nurses.

It’s now been two weeks since the birth of my son, and my recovery has been fantastic! I’m so thankful that my c-section experience turned out so great. If you’ve been through a c-section, comment below with your advice on how to prepare!

Paleo Resolutions

On January 1, my husband made an impressive resolution: to start the oh-so-trendy, all-over-the-blogosphere Paleo diet. I believe he made this resolution in his mind on December 31 without really having any knowledge of the Paleo diet other than having seen some fantastic before-and-after photos of someone who had supposedly followed it for 30 days and lost a lot of weight.

In response to my dear sweet husband’s announcement that he wanted to “go Paleo”, I must confess that I was much less than an encouraging, supportive wife. It’s just that this man doesn’t really like vegetables, and based on my fuzzy recollection of the Paleo guidelines, I was pretty sure that vegetables were supposed to play a large part. I mean, he once happily lived on cereal for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch, and cereal for dinner every day for over a month I was working on the other side of the globe. How did he think he was going to give up grains??

While trying to figure out what to buy at the grocery store, I found myself constantly asking my husband about which foods the Paleo Powers that Be would permit. He got tired of answering me, so he boiled it down to two simple questions, which I have illustrated below in a handy flow chart:

The Paleo Diet, simplified (by a man).

So now you can understand why it’s really been more the “Bacon & Eggs” diet going on around here. I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, because I normally love bacon, but reaaaaaally I’m getting tired of the smell of it. I mean, isn’t there a limit to how much bacon should actually be good for a person!?

I certainly don’t have anything against you if you’re into the Paleo thing, it’s just that I’m largely pregnant and very stubborn and I personally have no interest in it. Plus, I thought that the original premise of the Paleo diet was to eat like a caveman. If so, why do I see nothing but “Paleo Chocolate Chip Cookies” and “Paleo Thin Mint Cookies” recipes plastered all over my Pinterest feed? I don’t think cavemen baked cookies, folks. That’s just your wishful thinking.

Seriously, Ask Me If I’m Pregnant.

What is the deal with everyone being terrified of sticking their foot in their mouth when it comes to pregnancy? It seems like this funny graphic is everywhere on the internet.

When is it ok to ask a woman if she is pregnant
Original source unknown

Every woman’s body is different. Some women are sporting a cute little bump before the test stick is even dry. Some get the tell-tale belly button pop-out. And then there’s me. I tend to show later than most.

At 22 weeks into my first pregnancy, not really showing much at all, I asked my doctor if I was normal (loaded question, I know). She responded, “Oh yes! You just have good childbearin’ hips that hide the baby well.”

I’m still not sure how I feel about that comment on my anatomy.

I live in the south where you make pleasant small talk with strangers standing near you. It’s just what people do. We’re friendly. You discuss the weather, compliment their shoes, or point out that they dropped something on the floor (well, that’s an entirely different story).

But for the first eight months of my first pregnancy, I was sorely disappointed that no one would ask if I was pregnant. There I was, all aglow with the anticipation of a new baby, but no one would ask me about it. I promise I’m not an attention-seeker; I’m actually pretty shy around people I don’t know. I just wanted to share my excitement.

31-weeks-pregnant

Right now, 18 weeks into my second pregnancy, I’m still in that awkward stage where people probably assume that the extra weight in my midsection means I’ve just totally surrendered myself to the deliciousness of Lindor truffles.  I’m still waiting for my tummy to morph itself into a real-looking bump. I’m longing for the day when it will be totally obvious that I’m pregnant – I don’t even care about the stretch marks.

But seriously, I wish people would be more willing to ask about it. Unlike most times in my life, I actually find myself wanting to gush to a complete stranger about something. For the love of babies, when will someone just go ahead and ask me if I’m pregnant?!

Then again, I’ve never been asked if I was pregnant when I wasn’t. That could certainly cause me do a complete 180 on this subject. How do you feel about asking a woman if she’s pregnant?

Meet Crunchy Nana!

My mom is one of the most loving, unselfish, and gifted people I know. She can cook, bake, sew, knit, smock, quilt, garden, and so much more. She’s much more talented than me in many ways, so I begged her to help me bring you some interesting and fun tutorials on Diaper Wrecker. Luckily, she agreed!

In the late 70s and early 80s, she was a cloth diapering, breastfeeding mama back when those things were going out of style. I remember tagging along to her La Leche League meetings when my sister was a baby. I like to sing a little tune that she “was crunchy… when crunchy wasn’t cool.” (In case you’re not familiar with classic country music, you might need to listen to a little Barbara Mandrell for that line to make sense.) Her four grandchildren call her Nana, and recently she joked that she could go by “Crunchy Nana” in the cloth diaper world. The nickname has stuck.

Soon you’ll be hearing more from Crunchy Nana on a variety of topics. I think you’ll like her as much as I do!

Then & Now collage

Me and my wonderful mom, then and now!

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!